The concept of entitlement makes us believe that we have the birth rigtht to perpetually experience happiness. We confuse our rights with privilege.
You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was
IBRAHIM LINCOLN
What is Entitlement?
My dear readers in today’s fast-paced and goal-oriented world many of us have fallen to the vice called entitlement without even knowing. Do you know what entitlement is? It is the impression that you feel that you have a privilege to something or you deserve something due to some self-constructed reason(s). This idea can contaminate a single person’s mind or influence an entire religious or ethnic group’s point of view. You will be amazed by how this concept can manipulate or rather cloud someone’s judgment. Feeling the right to have something not only stops people from actually doing an effort to achieve that objective but also makes them gradually prejudiced. Thanks to self- help books and a plethora of motivational speakers telling that everyone deserves a better life, you can earn a lot more than you are actually earning, it’s your loss if settle for lower social stature, you can happier has made people actually thing bad about themselves. Now, there is nothing wrong to have a desire to improve one’s circumstances but influencing the masses and making them think that they deserve better has made them, in reality, believe that they have a penchant to earn more, live more, be happy more and so and so on. All most of us believe that we deserved to feel perpetually happy our entire life and if by some tragedy we have to face some misfortune our influenced mind tells us not deal with it but rather avoid, run and look for joyful experiences.
As we have discussed that feeling entitled to anything clouds our judgment and prevents the person or the group to make an effort to achieve that goal in the first place. Let me show you some examples. In a relationship, he/she might come to believe that they deserve whatever they are getting be it love, respect or anything for that matter. Because it is easier to blame the other person for the problems and misunderstandings than to self-inspect. It is always harder to look at and recognize one’s own misdoings and improve them. Why? Because our subconscious mind has already told us that we DESERVE BETTER so it must be the other person’s fault. Another case is where almost every employed person thinks at the end of the year that they are privileged to have a pay raise or a promotion. How many of you have come across a co-worker who admitted that this year they made some mistakes or they have identified their week areas which have hampered their progress and they will try to improve them in future? If you have, please note that you have come across a very unique being because nobody around me or you have said it in ages. Why? Again because it is easier to blame your boss, corporate culture or in some cases your fellow colleagues than to accept your weaknesses. Just by believing that you DESERVED THAT RAISE has made you think that you should get it with whatever little effort you are making.
Playing Victim
I am sure we all have read or come across women who claims that they have been victims of preferential treatment. While in some cases it is a valid reason and another debate in its own but in many cases, it is a great niche to play victim don’t you think. It’s difficult to acknowledge that there might have been other factors like aptitude or skills or whatever. But since society is on our side and its way easier to play the gender bias gap so why not. Surprisingly, the same approach is present in men. I have come across many male colleagues who would just point to a female co-worker and attribute her success to her gender only and remove the limelight from their own misdeeds.
Entitlement Stops Self-Improvement
This feeling, this negative pull stops us from growing. Feeling a victim gives our psychology a sugar rush by two things:
- When we rant in front of others that we have been robbed of our birthright to succeed we become the centre of attention. This is a feeling of ecstasy for humans as in many cases that were the main objective to be successful in the first place.
- By declaring that the universe has conspired against us, we just wash off your hands from any efforts required from your end. Isn’t that easy? But there is a problem. This act might get you what you want once or twice or even thrice but in the long run, it will destroy your personality.
I have a colleague who thinks that he is brilliant, intelligent and deserves all the attention the company has to offer. Although he is all these things unfortunately for him others also exhibit such qualities. While these attributes are not a promise of success but by making himself believe otherwise he often makes himself a laughing stock whenever his work hits a small hiccup. And during these episodes when he is not accepting what could have been done to mitigate the misfortune, his qualities are overshadowed by his emotional behaviour. Now everyone thinks of him as a drama queen or attention seeker. Isn’t that we just discussed in our first example?
This mindset puts a blanket on our shortcomings and hence we can’t improve. This virus-like mentality has spread all over the world in all spheres of life. As described by Mark Manson in his book, “The subtle Art of How Not to Give a F**k”, we live in a unique era where everyone feels entitled to something. The poor think they are the victims of society so they deserve better, the rich surprisingly also feel less about how their lives are not fulfilled and shallow, the women and the men the east due to lack of development and west due to development.
The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend feeling sorry for themselves
Barbara corcoran
Nutshell
My readers, it is always easy to play the victim and blame others. If you want to taste success and fulfilment in your life there is no shortcut from struggle and effort. I suggest get rid of this victim mindset and analyse your failures, improve your shortcomings and grow into a better and strong person.