Introvert’s Dilemma

How it is to live an introvert’s life? Most of the world doesn’t even recognize these solitary creatures and how they perceive the world and life. Introverts are pushed around, often misunderstood and rejected.

With the increased frequency of pandemics and lockdowns, there is a rising trend of people declaring themselves as introverts. It sounds amazing for the world which is so promising for extroverts, the gregarious, and the confidence can’t seem to find out how to spend free time alone. Our current social structure is shaped by the corporate sector. And for the last quarter of a century, people with an audacious attitude are considered more competent and worthy. And it hasn’t helped with the internet taking over our lives. Social media provides a perfect opportunity for the introverts to be happy like everyone else. They can also get their fair share of happiness and pleasure from the comfort of their couch, but as it happens they still struggle to seek joy. The hurdles which only seemed to be related to the physical world also confines them to establish healthy relations online.

Introverts Are Pushed Back

Let’s take a step back and analyse why introverts are pushed back in society. I can remember when I was a teenager, a shy and reserved teenager, whenever we had guests over the elder generation would term me as decent and intelligent. Not that I am bragging about myself, just quoting an example from personal experience. The point is, there was a time when being shy and cautious was considered intelligent and decent. Parents were proud of their decent and not so naughty kids. It is proven by many social scientists that introverts don’t open up quickly in a gathering. They don’t just jump right in on an ongoing conversation and start delivering their ideas. They observe, they linger on the outer circle to perceive the overall mood of the conversation, they notice each individual and their behaviour. Only when and if they feel comfortable, they make a move to give their two cents. The remark they give is carefully judged and backed by theory and science. But I guess nobody is looking for exact statistics and a show-off. People are happy with jokes and like individual who make other people laugh. While introverts do like jokes but for them, the main purpose of the conversation is to seek and deliver knowledge. When mostly parties and hangouts are intended to be happy and easy conversations with mostly shallow talks, introverts crave deep and meaningful conversations.

Rise of Corporate World, Introverts’ Nightmare

Then came the 2^nd and the 3^rd industrial revolutions. From the 1940s the manufacturers started needing marketing and sales personnel to promote their products. The age of consumerism started a race. Giant corporates were formed and perhaps for the first time in many years, the need for salesmen overtook the importance of artisans and mechanics. Each manufacturer started looking for persons with boisterous and flamboyant personalities. The art of selling overtook the art of making. Gradually, the wallflowers, the introverts who were once considered the intellectuals and skilled were pushed out of the decision making circles and replaced with people who could openly criticize and push their ideas proudly. It was the age of public speaking. People who could mesmerize a crowd with their talk were idolized. This prompted many loners to seek professional help to change their in-born persona. The advent of many public speaking institutes in this era is a clear example. Dale Carnegie Institute and books are written by him also come from the same era. Research on personality types also quadruples during this time. All mainly to weed out the reserved, decent and shy and promote the outspoken. The view of society also swang in favour of the extroverts. Women started adoring men with communication skills that exhibited confidence and pride. Charming men with outward nature were considered successful and macho.

This changed the world. With extroverts taking the driving seats in big companies, decisions were made after not putting so much meticulous thinking. Risks were taken with the ability to win arguments during executive meetings rather than the skills of perceiving the future with available data. Then the internet and social media is a classic example. Viral videos with shallow content have millions of views and likes while a long and detailed documentary lags far behind.

Now I am not against confident and stage comfy individuals. But wouldn’t you agree that the world would be a little better if both the introverts and extroverts were recognized for their strong points respectively? I mean none has the advantage over the other generally, but there are areas where one exceeds the other. Now let’s take a journey back and see famous personalities.

Famous Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts

Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, Eleanor Roosevelt, J.K. Rowling, Warren Buffet, Meryl Streep, Rosa Parks, Steve Wozniak. Who are these great and famous people? Introverts. You can see how the range from scientists, statesmen, corporate executives, billionaires and even performers.

Extroverts

Bill Clinton, Margret Thatcher, Winston Churchill, George W. Bush, Steve Jobs, Boris Yeltsin, Muhammad Ali. Who are these great and famous people? Extroverts. Can you see a pattern here? In recent history, most of the famous extroverts are politicians and country heads.

While there is nothing wrong with introvert leaders like Abraham Lincoln and Gandhi but in recent times we have reserved these seats for our flamboyant friends (See most in the extrovert list are politicians and country heads). Also, there is no shortage of actors/actress in our reclusive division and they can be equally good and comparable with extroverts (Meryl Streep, Emma Watson etc.). One more thing to notice, Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs, both have completely opposite personalities yet they were fast friends, teamed up and went on to make one of the most successful products of our time.

The question remains unanswered. Why we have started to see specific personality types in specific roles. We have even gone to lengths that we consider that an ideal man should be an extrovert and a perfect woman should be introvert. Why? Because society believes after shaping itself, that to earn bread and butter for the family the man should be an extrovert. Besides this trait is considered masculine, introvert men are considered feeble, shy and womanly.  Same goes for introvert women, who are considered perfect wives. She is to be considered shy, weak-willed and cooperative.

The Myth About Introverts

Let me break that myth for you. Before proceeding watch this 3-minute video.

Let me break that myth for you. Introverts are not necessarily shy and cowardly and extroverts are not always brave and strong-willed. An introvert can be an introvert and still not shy. Sounds strange? Well the theory about them that they don’t want to indulge in a petty talk in parties and they are not easy to start a conversation has made people think they are shy. Well No? They don’t start or jump in a dialogue on the drop of a hat because they don’t feel the need. Introvert and extrovert personality types are not just different at the psychological level but they are genetically different. We all know that the human body craves dopamine Remember we talked earlier about how dopamine and happiness work).

Well, introverts and extroverts both seek happiness and pleasure in their own way. Introverts can get the desired shot of happiness in the form of dopamine rush by just staying home, reading a book or watching Netflix. Extroverts, on the other hand, can’t get the same pinch of pleasure by staying home. They need human interaction. For them, the rush comes from parties, loud arguments and outdoor activities. That’s the main and only significant difference.

Introverts Hava a Place In This World

There is no correlation of shyness, weakness, bravery and confidence in the two personality types (in this case: Extrovert and Introvert). There is no association of choosing specific professions, neither is there any link between genders and personality types. Furthermore, loners can be friends with party animals. Socializing women can live happily with wallflowers and vice versa. In the increasing trend for working from home and social distancing, it is about time we stop stereotyping about our personality type and assigning professions based on persona rather than skills and capabilities.