Sometimes we are forced to face circumstances which are beyond our human capacities. What should we do then? Living in the moment, mindfulness, one day at a time are all but one technique to get through the toughest moments of our lives.
The Moment
I once faced a situation along with a co-worker. It was a routine day at my office and just before one hour remaining from the close of business my manager summoned me and another co-worker let’s call him Alex. Now I and Alex were not the type of people who would grab any opportunity to solve gigantic problems at work on the drop of a hat. Anyway, the manager told us that he is short of staff and a certain task needs to be finished by today. In other words, we had to finish it before going home or better we couldn’t go home without finishing. While we were not the most motivated and success-oriented type in our team, in all honesty, the task required at least a week to complete. When we came out of his office, Alex and I had no idea how to do it. I was bothered by the idea that I will have to stay late and Alex had plans with his friends. We discussed this sudden catastrophe and cursed the manager. Both of us agreed that it is humanly not possible to accomplish this task in a few hours.
The Living After The Crying And The Whimpering
We successfully wasted two hours in crying and wimping and garnering sympathy from our colleagues. When everyone at the office left and the initial storm of cursing and anger settled down we started to analyse the situation at hand. And within half an hour only after searching through our old archives, we were able to draft a solution though not ideal but given the timeline commendable. We emailed the solution to our boss who I am sure never checked his email in the late hours. Had we not wasted the time in wailing and feeling depressed about our plans after work it could have been just another normal day with both of us, me and Alex leaving office right on time with a great sense of accomplishment. If we were living in the moment without worrying about the aftermath all this fiasco could have been avoided. If only we were focused on how to complete the job and not about how long it will take us would have been immensely fruitful.
Examples Around Us
Dale Carnegie one of the leading authority on motivation and success in his famous book, ‘How to stop worrying and start living’ narrates the story of a famous American businessman Edward S. Evans. He started from selling newspapers and earned his way up to twenty thousand dollars a year. It all vanished due to a bad decision and economy. He lost all motivation to face the loss, worrying too much about the future. He was now in debt of sixteen thousand dollars. The man who fought his way from poverty and just when the future looked bright it all crumbled. His nervous system collapsed, he could not walk or eat. His mind kept thinking how he will ever be able to pay the debt and get back on his feet pushed him further into depression. He lost all enthusiasm to survive and get back on feet. One day, his doctor told him he only had two weeks. At this point, he realized there is no need to fight or worry now, the end is near. And on that day he slept like a baby. Thinking that his problems are going to vanish soon he felt relaxed. Surprisingly his appetite came back, he started to gain weight and in two weeks he was able to walk.
The Journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step
This made him realize that he was so obsessed with the success he had previously achieved and all the time thinking about how he will get back there he forgot how to deal with the situation at hand. When his mind was in a state of worry he couldn’t concentrate on the current situation limiting his analytical thinking. Edward S. Evans was focussed on his lost accomplishment, not the solution to get back there. He realized should have been living in the moment.
Monday Blues
This is the same case me and many of you might have encountered in our daily lives. From the workplace to personal matters. Like for example the Monday Blues. If you enter your workplace with a heavy and dreary mindset any task comes at you will feel like a mountain. Why? Because you are still living on the weekend. You are craving to not to be at your current place and somewhere else. But if you settle down your emotions and analyse positively Monday is just another day. The reason we dread Monday is that we don’t see this day as a Day but rather as a whole week. Monday represents the workweek, not a working day. This is an instant mood killer for many and plaque for any motivating ideas which we had on the weekend. But once we realize that what matters is today and the matter at hand and one day at a time, we realize that life is in the living not thinking about the future.
How Living In The Moment Helps
I once talked to a retired government worker who used to work as a file dispatcher. I was astonished to hear that he marked and dispatched more than a thousand files in a day up till his retirement. How, I asked him, was he able to gather the stimulus to succeed this apparently tedious task? His reply was simple and heart-warming. I didn’t think of the large pile sitting on my desk waiting for me every day when I reached my office. Just pick up the top file and the rest will follow. I only thought of the first piece as to where it needs to be dispatched and what needs to be marked and the rest is history. Once you accept the worst, you have nothing to lose because you are at the bottom of the pit and from there you have everything to gain.
How To Overcome Fear of Un-known
The anxiety of the unknown is best inculcated in the worry of the future. Since we cannot practically foresee and control the events of tomorrow, we are overburdened with worries of imaginary outcomes of what might come. How many times we have imagined that such and such thing might happen? When we go to the office tomorrow, what will the boss say or what the nagging colleague might remark? And amazingly most of the time that outcome which we imagined never happened or occurred in a very different way. The fear of anticipation takes the best of us and our thoughts start taking a particularly negative and pessimistic path. We already start to draw out our aggressive responses based on the occurrence of events which might never happen. Needless to say that these responses are often destructive.
Since there is no argument that we should plan for the future but at the same time try to train our brains to stop the anxiety. I know, easier said than done but what do we have to lose?